People need others who can help them find passions and motivation to achieve goals.
Passion and Motivation. Guess what, these two characteristics go together. Teaching children how to be passionate about something is not as easy as it sounds. I think of my own two children -- if they are not into “it” they will not put forth the effort needed to be successful. However, on this blustery Sunday afternoon, I pulled out my ukulele and played with my daughter. I am no expert, in fact I am a novice at best. But strumming, laughing, and watching a couple YouTube tutorials together and the next thing I know, she is playing cords, singing songs, and her heart BEAMS -- she’s teaching ME! The joy, energy, and motivation that has been captured today is incredible.
By tapping into her passion, I have seen an increase in her motivation to become more than a novice in mere hours. Guess what, I have known my own kid for thirteen years. I have given her opportunities to try art, musical theater, science, and more through formal and informal moments together. Throughout all of this, there are two things that stand true -- we have to invest in time and opportunities. If we are not willing to do this with any human with whom we interact, then we have missed the boat.
My heart truly beams with joy. It overflows because my daughter is sending positive vibes into this world that are beyond her understanding. I have always told my children, students, and adults that I coach that in life there is input and output. You cannot go through life only taking, you have to also be willing to give.
While the cords are strummed, her sweet voice makes its way down the stairs, and joy radiates throughout my home, I know that I have done my part today. Today there has been an even exchange of input and output. So I tell both of my kids and I’ll tell you the same: Do your part. Make sure if you take, you give in return. Keep the balance of input and output. Tap into passion and motivation for yourself and for those with whom you work. We all deserve to live in a place where we are fulfilled and striving to make the world a better place.
On a cold, blustery day, I sit by my fireplace catching up on emails while Netflix plays in the background. The freezing rain pelts the side of my house making little, knocking noises against the siding. My wind-chimes are quickly singing a song as the wind swirls and blows outside. All is well… or is it?
I am tired.
I am tired of being worried about my own two children every time I send them off to school.
I am tired of playing scenarios in my head of where I might hide, how might I help students, what would I do if…
Something has got to change.
I have noticed that people, both adults and children, suffer from this lack of being heard; a lack of validation. It seems the only way to be heard is by lashing out verbally, physically, emotionally. People have to be the loudest, most disruptive force in a room. If you don’t hear me, if you don’t agree with me, if you don’t see me, then I will be the loudest one here and by that, “I win.”
How do we counter that? I don’t know. Maybe we need to have more conversations with each other, spend more time together, lower the pressures and expectations of our society, and change the mindset of, “the more stuff I enroll my kid in, the better they will be.”
People are not just data points, statistics, or a series of checkmarks on a long list of college entrance expectations. We truly seem to lack this investment in humanity. How has this gotten so out of control?
We need to invest in all students and people -- even the ones how are hard to reach! Guess what, they need us more than ever. We, as a global community, need a mindset reset! We need to change our mindset and investment in humanity. We need to focus on the growth and cultivation of exceptional people. We HAVE to change our expectations for ourselves and for the people with whom we interact. We need to celebrate differences and learn from each other. If I don’t do try… if you don’t try… then what are we truly to do?
*This blog has been inspired by current events in the U.S. and our local community. A huge shout out to my people who jump-started this conversational blog with our icy morning texts, @PK5Cramer, @CaraMcNorton, and @SunnyHalsted = I heart you!
She sits on the floor of of her bedroom, back against the bed. Her head is in her hands, tears stream down her face. All of the weight of the world is on her shoulders. She gives and gives and gives. She gives to her family, her friends. She gives to her colleagues. She gives to her students. She gives so much with nothing in return. All she has are her emotions.
She is now at the point where she has moved out further from shore. Then another wave comes and crashes on her head; she struggles to catch her breath. This is that pivotal moment that comes in a person’s life where they get to choose to let the waves win or to reach out for help, support, and safety -- for a lifeline.
The importance of self-care is essential. I have met and worked with many people over the course of ten years in education and that statement is more true than ever. We live and work in a time where schedules are full, expectations in the workplace are high, and we rarely have a moment to ourselves. It is always GO, GO, GO! You know those feelings and thoughts that sit in the back of your mind: If you don’t outwork others, you will be left behind. If you don’t always look like you have “it” together, you will be deemed basic.
What if you take time to do the things you love, that recharge your soul. Read a book. Listen to a podcast. Go do some yoga. Watch Netflix. For the love, most importantly of all, surround yourself with people who are truly investing in YOU and building you up. When those moments of being overwhelmed come and consume us, it is imperative to have a lifeline who will serve as that rock and anchor. These lifeliners keep us from drifting away into open waters. They help pull us back to shore.
If you find that you are in a good space, make sure to check-in on your people. Offer to be that rock and anchor. Be available to be a lifeline that brings them home. And when your moment comes, because you know it will, you can call upon those people to be yours.
As December winds down, I love to reflect on the year as a whole. I often find myself in my thinking quadrant, but this time of year I look at my life, beliefs, feelings, and actions from a 10,000 foot view. January is on the horizon. It’s a new year. It’s a fresh start.
Every year there is an undercurrent of excitement as New Year’s Eve approaches. There are hopes, dreams, tomorrow. Then it happens -- midnight. It’s a new year and time for bed. The next morning begins and we all go back to the exact same habits, the exact same routines that we had the day before.
I don’t know about you, but I have all of these plans to make changes in my life that inevitably fall short. Why? Maybe I’m not fully committed. Maybe I am not intentional with my goals. Maybe these choices were just a fleeting thought. Well, not this year. 2018 will be different. While I would like to workout more, drink less coffee (Okay, that is NOT going to happen!), learn how to play an instrument, jump-start writing my book, spend less cash …. The list goes on and on. I realize that best use of my talents, passions, and most important investment that I can make in 2018 is in my relationships with others.
Goals for 2018
It is imperative for us as humans to be present with people. Put your phone down and turn off your iPad (I know right!?!). When others share their story, stop and truly listen to them. Validate their thoughts and feeling. Being present is essential to cultivating strong human-to-human relationships.
So often we are quick to judge and impose our thoughts on others. Being gentle means we all must invite people into a conversation where we can be honest, kind, and real. Curb your agenda and practice gentleness so that when it’s your turn, you may also receive gentleness.
Reduce Negative Investments
Yes, there are those who are “fun-suckers”. Those who no matter what will never be happy or satisfied with you, your actions, or the shell of a relationship that exists. So, reduce the investment. This is a wonderful opportunity to practice kindness, while not caring what that Negative Nancy thinks or says about you. It’s quite freeing -- give it a try.
Surround Yourself with Your Peeps
Your peeps are your “Fortress of Solitude”. These people get the real you and are the number one support system for you. Choose your people wisely. These carefully selected people, can and should build you up. They should offer sound advice. They should make you laugh. The should not stress you out, too often. They should encourage you to follow your dreams. They should challenge your thinking to help guide you to a new and better self. Your people frame and shape you. Find your people and in return, be that person for someone else.
So here’s the challenge: What might your investment be for 2018?
The sun rises, casting a purple shadow on the mountains. The cool air reminds teachers and students fall is in full swing. Crisp leaves crunch under students’ feet as they walk past the community garden that is ready for harvesting. Rows of pumpkins, squash, and other veggies wait to be picked and prepared for fresh daily lunches and snacks.
Friendly faces greet those who cross through the threshold of the school grounds. Outside of the classrooms, there lies fresh green grass, lingering flowers, and tall shady trees where frequent outdoor lesson convene. Teachers stand outside in the fresh morning air, waiting to high-five, hug, and tell each child, “I am glad you’re here today. We are going to have an amazing day.” All are welcome.
Learning is a must. Kindness is key. Innovation -- you bet. Technology to enhance instruction. Community is essential. Flexibility in our schedule -- for SURE! Teachers, students, administrators, and all support staff take moment at the beginning and end of the day to reflect, set goals, and express gratitude for the opportunity to become better humans.
“You may say I’m a dreamer. But I’m not only one. I hope some day you'll join us. And the world will be as one.” - John Lennon
It is a place where learning, creating, and becoming world-changers is expected. All have an opportunity to learn in a different way. Students work in groups that interest them, not bound by grade-levels. There is student choice, a personalized learning experience, and an old “one-room schoolhouse” feel that allows a student to move fluidly throughout the building and classrooms. It is a place where “old” and “new” collide, where getting our hands dirty is the name of the game, and thinking outside of the box is expected and encouraged.
Maybe I’m a little “hippie-dippie” and maybe this would never work, but wouldn’t it be nice?
There is a wide open road. Take a spin, and all around me is a high-plains desert with Yucca plants, tumbleweeds, and red colored clay dirt. It’s so hot, my shoes start to stick to the black tar. Off in the distance, I can see the heat rising off of the pavement in sizzling waves. Something catches my eye. There is a small speck. It looks like a person walking toward me, friend or foe, I am not sure. I walk toward her. As we approach one another, she becomes familiar. It is a friend. I start running toward her. I am so hot, so thirsty, in need of relief from the heat. Running, running, all I can think about is the comfort the familiar face will bring. My gaze shifts to the ground in front of me, watching the yellow lines pass in the middle of the road. I hear her voice, look up and BAM!
The bus hits me without warning. No horn, no squealing of tires or burning smell of rubber. There I lie, under the bus.
That’s what it felt like when a close colleague, whom I believed was a confidant, used my vulnerability for personal gain and threw me under the bus. That feeling of helplessness, surprise, and being dumbfounded is one that I never wish to experience ever again.
Choose your people wisely.
Being young, new in the EDU-world, I was very willing to trust any and everyone, willing to share ALL of me, and clearly unaware of the wolf in sheep’s clothing. Since this particular situation, I have learned a lot. Choose your people wisely. It is more than appropriate to be friendly with your colleagues, but you do not and should not feel that you have to be friends with your colleagues. My circle of confidants is small now -- seriously four people and only one of them works in the same district as me. These amazing people have proven time and time again that they are trustworthy and support me. They offer advice, are a sounding board, and are, well, my people; I am theirs in return.
So next time I am on that deserted road, I may take a look around. I may start to run toward that speck down the road, but I will be aware if a bus is heading my direction.
I remember once when I was a little girl, I had a terrible dream. This was one of those dreams that wakes you in the middle of the night feeling all icky. The type of dream that borders on a hazy reality. In this dream, I was trying to get somewhere and was late. Little did my young mind know that being late would be a habitual problem in my adulthood. (If you know me, I am either late or early, never on time.)
But I digress. I am late getting somewhere, the place in which I need to get is never really defined. I distinctly remember a schoolyard. This schoolyard is filled with many people, young and old. It is interesting because of the schoolyard, which resides on the side of a hill, looks down toward the rest of the town. It’s night time, just dark where you see the lights from inside homes and on street lamps. As I walk up the hill in the yard, I weave in and out of the crowd like a snake looking for shelter. Then I come upon a slab of cement. It reminds me of a four-square area but there are no lines, no ball, and only one child. This child sits alone in the middle of the area, knees curled up, arms wrapped around his legs, and head tucked down. What’s interesting about this dream is that no one is stopping to help the child. People move here and there, focused only on getting across the yard, paying no attention to the child.
The thing that strikes me in remembering this dream from ages ago, is the child. There he sits. Alone.
How many times have we put our heads down and walked past the child or even adult in need? How many of us see others put on the brave face but deep down, there is a scared, isolated child? How many of us are that child?
I honestly don’t remember much more of the dream. But if I could rewrite it, I would stop and sit with the child. I would offer help, a shoulder to lean on, just be present with him.
Slow down. Look around. Spot the child in your space and pull up a chair. “You are safe. I’m here for you. I’m glad you’re here.”
The first day of school is quickly approaching. One thing that I have heard over and over again is the importance of building relationships with staff and students immediately. So often we are faced with getting into the curriculum, teaching the standards, and meeting district goals so much so that we often blow past the relationship building piece. If my ten years of teaching experience has taught me anything, it's that relationships, relationships, relationships are the key to a successful year.
How might you cultivate strong teacher-to-student and student-to-student relationships?
Let's think about your own learning experience. Who was the most influential teacher you've had? More than likely the response goes to the teacher who took the time to be consistent, caring and built a relationship. Then we were able to feel successful as students socially, emotionally, and academically.
In what ways can you build students up socially and emotionally so that they can be successful academically?
Building Trust is like putting a deposit in the bank. We want to fill that bank account with each student, so that when things get difficult they know we will be there, no matter what.
Teaching and parenting are two similar worlds. Both are filled with children whom you care for deeply and want to see grow into wonderful humans. You hope the kids learn life and academic lessons, avoid too much trouble, and leave with new skills to use in the future to go out and change the world. Now that summer is here, it is a great time to sit back, relax, and take a moment (or many moments) to reflect.
I was recently chatting with one of my Twitter PLN EDU-Heroes when I had one of those reflective “mom” moments. I felt, and to some degree still feel, like I have failed my students. I have been asking myself all of those questions: What could I have done differently? How could I change that lesson? What would I change at the beginning of the year to build stronger relationships? The list in my head goes on and on. And you know what, I feel awful. SO many moments were missed because of my lack of knowledge, because of my old “habits,” because of...
I was implementing what I was comfortable using. My students still learned and grew; so did I. Does it do me any good to “beat myself up” about last year? No. But it is important to be aware, taking new ideas and skills and making a point to implement them. Okay, so I must be aware of when social/emotional situations pop up - How will I respond instead of react? Be aware of an opportunity for A-MAZ-ING learning opportunities - How might I implement one idea at a time and create fun and meaning learning opportunities for students? Be aware of building up and empowering others - How can I encourage students and teachers to grow and reach new heights?
Time for action. Time to take these “failures” and move forward. Time to plan, prepare, and approach the new school year with a humble and responsive heart and a creative and innovative mindset. So here I am, failing forward for the win.
My husband and some of his colleagues thought it would be fun to attempt a breakout room one Friday night. I have to tell you, I have looked at many people posting on social media and talking about the great fun they all had, so I figured, “Why not?” I must tell you, that the events that unfolded that night were ones that have skewed my perspective for future breakout events.
I hate to admit it, but I am super competitive. I love to play games, but ask my family and friends how a friendly game could quickly take a turn for the worse. I am also what some would call a “Nervous Nelly.” I often like to ask a lot of questions regarding new situations in order to prepare myself and ready my mindset to accomplish any task. In this case, the six of us attempting the Y2K breakout room had never gone before. So with no one available to share some insights, all I could pull upon was my own gumption and sassy nature to solve the clues in the room. Not to mention that the breakout soundtrack included many of my favorite high school jams; don’t judge me for my love of NSYNC. But even the music could not ease the uncertainty of it all.
Approach new situations with a positive attitude.
Clearly, an attitude or mindset helps when facing unknown situations. Often it can make or break the experience for the participant. Whether you are teaching, learning, running, etc. your attitude will influence your outcome.
Our situation started looked bleak. Here we have a six people, all with advanced degrees, clearly, we are book smart. The question was, are we “street smart?” We entered into the room where there were a ton of combination locks all hiding future clues behind a variety of cabinet doors. Immediately, our alpha leader took the bull by the horns and started delegating tasks to the rest of us. To be honest, it was one of those situations where I did not know where to begin, where to look, and even how I was going to contribute to solving the puzzle in our small, tiny breakout space.
Assess the situation and find your role on the team.
Sometimes finding your role on the team may take time. It might even change depending on the team, scenario, or your personal goals. Remember, you don’t have to stay in that role. You have choice and voice over your contribution to the team, classroom, school, and community.
The clues started to come, but honestly, I did not see anything beyond what was right in front of me. My breakout-mates were making connections, using inference, and, quite honestly, rockin’ it. We were on our path toward getting the final code to break on out. At one point a secret passage opened up for us. This is great but then we were seriously stuck. We had the option to ask for three clues, but no one really wanted to use them up in case we needed them later and honestly, we all wanted to solve this bad boy on our own (thanks, pride). Frustration started to set in. I could sense that the team was starting to lose communication. We were now functioning in pairs of two at best.
What do you do when you hit a roadblock?
When a roadblock pops up, it could be a person, student, parent - you name it, what is your first reaction? Often with each year of experience, we gain new strategies and engage with colleagues who have a myriad of answers or support to help us overcome the roadblock. But what happens when you don’t have time to consult and you have to come up with an immediate, “shoot from the hip” solution? Best said in the movie Speed, “Pop quiz hotshot … What do you do? What do you do?”
Well, I hate to admit it, but we were not successful in our breakout. We were trapped. Once the employee released us from our Y2K prison, my husband and his friends walked out of the room trying to process the hour that had just happened. I, however, walked out feeling like I let my team down. Here this was supposed to be a fun, problem-solving evening, but all I could do was analyze how I did do enough, find clues fast enough, blah, blah blah. Now that I have been removed from the breakout room long enough, I realize that I started that whole night with the wrong approach and mindset. I was not ready to “fail forward.” I was not ready to give it a go. I wanted to win. I was so focused on the winning, I lost sight of the process and definitely lost out on an opportunity for fun.
Stop, drop, and don’t take it all so seriously.
When we encounter new people, teaching dilemmas, personal setbacks, the list keeps going, we have two options. One, we can flip out, internalize the problem, and cause personal strife. Or two, we can step back and look at the big picture. Sometimes a change of perspective and mindset is all that is needed to solve problems and move forward.
So if I ever decide to go into a breakout room again, I have some new goals for myself. But more importantly, I definitely learned some valuable lessons that night that are applicable in my edu-sphere. These lessons are quickly added to my survival kit that I carry with me each day as I enter the breakout room that is education.
What will YOU add to your survival kit?
Mena T. Hill
Educator, Wife, Mother, Colorado Native